by Lisa Brick | Sep 16, 2013 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Health & Wellness, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Relieving Stress, Simplicity
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Source: Living With Less: America’s Quest for Simplicity
by Lisa Brick | Apr 24, 2013 | Adjusting to Change, Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Success
When we recognize we don’t have what we need to “get the job done” whether it is clothing so we can show up a certain way or tools to complete a project we’ve launched, we have a few choices. They are to give up on our objectives, make due with what we have, or go out and shop for whatever we need to accomplish our goals. We have the same options regarding our thoughts. If our negative thinking is leading us to give up on our objectives, feel incapable or insecure, or continually uncomfortable “making due” we can begin to “shop” for new and more effective thoughts that allow us to accomplish the personal goals that mean so much to us. (more…)
by Lisa Brick | Apr 17, 2013 | Adjusting to Change, Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Relationships
While thoughts certainly arise in our minds there is a separation from thinking them and listening to them as if they are truth, which they are not, and being able to see how to use them to pull back from suffering and towards power and possibility. This practice can help us to stay grounded in what is real, face our pain, avoid unnecessary suffering from the negative thoughts that inevitably arise, and grow from unwanted and unwelcome change. (more…)
by admin | Apr 1, 2013 | Adjusting to Change, Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Success
I recently finished reading Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein, an amusing and heart warming book. The art of automobile racing was one of the themes within its pages, and the racing adage, “Car Follows Focus”. It says that while racing, the driver’s hands follow her eyes, the wheel follows her hands, and the car follows the wheel …or, extrapolating to the broader experience of life, the destination in which you are heading is determined by where you are placing your focus. In the book, a driver avoids a multi-car pile up by focusing on the narrow strip of grass adjoining the track and beyond, not on the unfolding disaster in front of him.
I’ve been reflecting on the truth of this adage in my experience. It is clear to me that when I shift my focus from what I am displeased with to what I desire, pathways open up. I begin to experience the freedom to move towards that which I desire rather than being stuck in place with that which doesn’t please me or seeing myself heading towards an experience I would rather avoid.
After I was diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease I focused on the available information which explained the possible and projected impact of the disease. While my focus was there I was a stressed-out mess. When, after months of suffering, I asked myself what it was that I wanted for my life, I realized that I wanted a life of health and wellness regardless of the diagnosis. After that realization I headed in that direction and rarely looked back. Even while planning for open heart surgery and transplantation I kept my focus on that patch of green on the side of the track where wellness was to be found!
It is an investment of awareness and energy to ask ourselves “What is it I really want to experience?” The return on that investment is a life of unusual and rewarding satisfaction, in all circumstances.
Best herbal remedy acts internally and addresses the underlying structural issue that is causing a patient’s pain and dysfunction and severe headache as a result of deeprootsmag.org buy levitra wholesale it, that this type of surgery may be appropriate. The market is flooded with ordering levitra numerous medications which ensure a healthy erection for pleasurable intercourse. Firstly because it can be easily remedied by making sure you drink the cost of viagra enough water. Drinking your sex life away Too much alcohol can have an adverse effect on your viagra without prescriptions canada health. Our lives have strong similarities to the racing experience for the spirit. We qualify at conception. Our vehicle is our mind/body. We pass the starting line at birth. The track is the seasons through which we go round and round. Our finish line? Death, at least with this unique mind/body. Speed is optional and driver’s choice.
On the track, no matter how familiar we may think we are with it, we encounter unanticipated and unexpected conditions. We take pit stops and utilize teams that assist us with repairs and motivation! To enjoy the adventure of the race, to learn the full capability of our vehicles, to ride all out, and to take our place among the greats who came before us and who will come after us when we cross that finish line – what can be more exhilarating? This race is about the quality of the ride.
Focus on what inspires and moves you and you will be inspired and moved in that direction! Simple yet profound.
This post was first published at MakingMindMatter.wordpress.com in 2011.
by Lisa Brick | Jan 28, 2013 | Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception
“Stories are the only enchantment possible, for when we begin to see our suffering as a story, we are saved.” – Anais Nin
You are powerful beyond your comprehension. You are also perfect, contrary to what you have been told or may think. Now, what stories have you been creating your experience of life out of? You are weaving the fabric of your life from these stories.
It’s a dog eat dog world.
Men are from Mars, Women from Venus.
Those who get ahead are lucky.
My background set me up for failure.
The world is a dangerous place.
Everyone is out for themselves.
I’m not smart.
I’m not talented.
Life sucks and then you die.
If it can go wrong it will.
I married the wrong person.
My kids, spouse, parents, disease, boss, world, etc. are holding me back.
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How are these stories serving you? If they are not, change them. BE CAUSE consciously. You are powerful beyond your comprehension. Once you get clear that you are ready for a new story, use the pathway below to deconstruct the old and create the new.
Mindfulness – What story have I been living out of? Choose one story at a time.
Inquiry – What evidence have I gathered to reinforce this story? Your evidence is as biased as your story.
Focus – What am I feeling as a result? How do my behaviors reinforce my story? What results are being created?
Reframe – What story do I want to be living out of? Begin writing this new story in your mind and begin living as if it were true because it will be, gathering one shred of evidence at a time, however small. Repeat above with each story that is causing you suffering.
If you think this is too simple you are telling yourself a story; ”My problems are too complex and real for this stupid, insensitive, annoying message.” If you are angry you are telling yourself a story; “Whoever is writing this doesn’t understand what I have been through and is insensitive and cruel.” Your freedom is more important to me than your story. I feel empathy for your suffering. So much so, I am willing to have you be angry and challenge the presence of the door I am showing you. Get angry. Notice how attached you are to your story, how willing you are to defend it. You will fight for it, even die for it. You are powerful enough to change your story. Here’s the story of one person who did.
Jules had dropped out of two schools. For the past year had spent most of his time in his small apartment on his computer surfing the web, checking out the great stuff everyone else on Facebook was doing, visiting porn sites, and feeling depressed. Friends and family were telling him he was wasting his life. Didn’t he know it! One day he ventured out and found himself with a stranger sharing his story. Remarkably, the stranger had an entirely different take; “Congratulations, what wisdom!” said the stranger. “Rather than forcing your way forward on a path that obviously was not inspiring you, you’ve allowed yourself to stop and retreat to the cave. What would be worth coming out of the cave for? What would be worth attempting and even failing at if it offered you the possibility of success if you kept at it?”
In the light of the stranger’s perspectives Jules saw himself as wise, not wasteful, the cave as a valid place of retreat, and failure as part of the path towards accomplishing something he determined is of real and significant value. Jules asked himself the stranger’s questions. He went back to school, at first taking one course. He threw himself into it, put in the effort and succeeded this time. After a series of unusual and unpleasant events, throughout which his new self acceptance, appreciation, and goals determined his choices, he moved to a new city with friends, enrolled in college full time and is pursuing his new empowering story of self.
In all fairness, there were other conversations with the stranger, reinforcing Jules’s power and capabilities. The stranger was a coach. The story is true.
“Great stories happen to those who can tell them.”
– Ira Glass
by Lisa Brick | Dec 26, 2012 | Adjusting to Change, Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Relationships
What happens when we see or hear something that is unacceptable to our minds yet is happening or has happened in our lives? There is the spouse who discovers that he has been deceived, the parents who learn their daughter has been killed, the adult child whose parent is having a limb amputated, or the individual being diagnosed with cancer. How do we accept what is when it shatters what was or destroys what we thought would be, catapulting us into unknown territory we do not feel capable of navigating? It is neither comfortable nor easy to feel the pain, the fear, the self doubt, the rage. Yet there it is, overwhelming our circuits, preventing movement, disrupting EVERYTHING.
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This is when surrendering preferences is the route forward. This is when the fierce acceptance of that which rips what we have known to shreds allows the fabric of our lives to weave itself anew, stronger yet more flexible and durable than before. This allowing, whether through the solitude of meditation, walking in nature, retreating to our beds, journaling, talking with a non-judgmental and accepting coach, friend, or family member, or a combination of any and all of the above can save us.
“Save us from what?” you may ask, since the injury has already occurred. These practices save us from taking action when we are dizzy, stunned, rage full, and blind to all but our pain. These practices are firewalls protecting us by preventing our pain from leading us to take actions that cause even more suffering than necessary. When we allow reality IN and the feelings that arise within us OUT, WITHOUT TAKING ACTION until they are dissipated, we are able to assess and choose our actions thoughtfully with love and awareness, moving forward powerfully, effectively, and creatively as we become ready. Without embracing this process we go off half cocked, shooting blindly in our own darkness, causing collateral damage. There’s enough of this happening in our world already, agreed?
By refraining from taking action in our darkness we allow ourselves to choose illuminated action, action that strengthens what we love and in doing so, weakens that which wreaks additional suffering.
by Lisa Brick | Dec 22, 2012 | Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, holidays, Navigating Life, Relationships
In a few days we will be celebrating Christmas. We will be with family we haven’t seen for a while as well as family we see every day. Some of us will be without family we used to have who have passed on, moved away and aren’t able to make it back, or dropped out from fall out. When you have an accumulation of people you have an accumulation of energies. We used to call these “personalities” yet they are really much more than that. We are affected and affect each other in three ways: we feel neutral, we feel some level of uneasiness, or we feel affirmed and relaxed. We even flip around through all three with the same person depending upon the conversation and our reactions to what is either said or not, done or not, and how it was said and done. The holidays and the energies they bring to us are an opportunity to practice how to learn to generate the very peace, beauty, and love with which we yearn to be filled.
There is a tool, the MIFR, which when utilized can support you in creating the wonderful “feeling experience” of the Christmas of your dreams. The MIFR consists of of four steps: mindfulness, inquiry, focus, and reframing. Whereas the Swiffer is a tool with which to clean a floor, the MIFR is a tool to wash clean the thoughts, feelings, and actions that lead to uneasiness, anger, resentment, and upset and allows us to dance on the newly cleaned surface. While to be expert at using this tool takes practice, even as a novice you can wipe away a great deal of gunk.
Here’s an example of how MIFR works. Aunt Sally comes in with a one way conversation all about what’s ailing her. She doesn’t ask about you or the kids. When she looks around she makes a comment about how you haven’t replaced that worn chair in the living room yet. You become mindful that you are feeling smoke escaping from your ears. You are experiencing a set-up. She’s stuck being Aunt Sally but you aren’t stuck in the set-up anymore. You have a choice. You inquire of yourself what other responses you can choose from since she’s there with her self absorption and complaints and will be the entire evening. Shift your focus on what you want for this Christmas; peace, love, and joy. Aunt Sally may not be able to shift her energy yet YOU CAN. It’s like a Nike ad, JUST DO IT, even if your mind is telling you you don’t know how. She can remain just as she is and as she isn’t and that energy can roll off you like water off a duck’s back. You can feel her energy and leave her to it. Simply by not responding to her in kind is showering grace. You don’t have to and can’t fix her. She doesn’t need to be fixed, just allowed to be who she is free of your judgment and resentment. When you free her from it, you have freed yourself from being stuck in feelings that dampen or ruin your Christmas! Now you can reframe the story and keep centered in the Christmas of your heart. You can even look at Aunt Sally, smile, and tell her that is your very favorite chair and invite her to experience how comfortable it is, while you walk away to greet the next soul at the gathering in peace, love, and joy. THIS IS POSSIBLE. THIS IS HOW TO HAVE THE CHRISTMAS OF YOUR DREAMS, by being what you desire.
The specific steps of MIFRing are:
- MINDFULNESS – As you become mindful of an upset (a set-up you’ve fallen into time and time again) coming on, recognize that when you feel energy/attitude coming at you, THEY aren’t doing it “to you”. You are doing it to yourself in the face of an external trigger.
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- INQUIRY – Assume responsibility for how you are feeling and see what story you are telling yourself in the presence of this energy.
- FOCUS – Remember that your objective is to be peace, love, and joy. What other’s say, hear, and emanate is about them. What you hear, say, and emanate is about you
- REFRAME – Listen with awareness rather than judgment. Tell yourself a new story which will lead to positive feelings towards yourself, the others, and your environment, and take creative empowering actions.
A note to those serious about truly enjoying the holidays this year, treat yourself well with sleep and nourishing foods consistently, being conscious that both sweets and alcohol in quantity dulls awareness and can lead to serious “sugar blues”.
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”.
– Mahatma Gandhi
A blessed Christmas to everyone of every faith and non-faith.
by Lisa Brick | Dec 13, 2012 | Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom
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“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You are off to Great Places!
You are off and away!
You have the brains in your head.
You have the feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.“
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– Dr. Suess from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”
Recognizing our ability to choose and the power that comes from it can have a dizzying effect. Too much choice overwhelms us. The plethora of choices available is perhaps the very reason individuals limit their beliefs, hold on to assumptions and interpretations, and ultimately limit themselves. As a coach I find myself facilitating my clients to identify and focus on their deep inner values and objectives when assessing multiple options from which to make choices. When the drivers of choice are at the level of the core values we hold, the process of choosing is simpler.
Once a destination is set, the route to get there is more obvious. There may still be a number of options to choose from yet if they all lead to the desired destination, the significance of which to choose lessens significantly. Rather than getting lost in the choosing process, the destination becomes the determining factor and the route is one of confidence, even when detours are discovered on the way. The primary choice becomes the integral outcome desired according to these deep drivers. The secondary choice becomes the route traveled. Oh the places you’ll go!
by Lisa Brick | Dec 8, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception
I am often asked “What is coaching?” This morning, as I picked up a book that was highly recommended by friend and coach Robin Sampson of First Circle Leaders http://firstcircleleaders.webs.com, I came upon a poem by Hafiz, a 14th century Persian mystic and poet. While the poem certainly is not speaking of coaching but a possible relationship with the divine, there is much here that a sensitive and committed coach supports a client to do for themselves in their own time, with total loving kindness. Enjoy…
Tired of Speaking Sweetly
Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
Break all our teacup talk of G-d.
If you had the courage and
Could give the Beloved His choice, some nights,
He would just drag you around the room
By your hair,
Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
That bring you no joy.
Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
And wants to rip to shreds
All your erroneous notions of truth.
That make you fight with yourself, dear one,
And with others,
Causing the world to weep
On too many fine days.
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God wants to manhandle us,
Lock us inside a time room with Himself
And practice his dropkick.
The Beloved sometimes wants
To do us a great favor:
Hold up upside down
And shake all the nonsense out.
But when we hear
He is in such a “playful drunken mood”
Most everyone I know
Quickly packs their bags and hightails it
Out of town.
When will you be staying in town?
by Lisa Brick | Nov 26, 2012 | Adjusting to Change, Finding Freedom, Opening our Doors of Perception
Thanksgiving has come and gone yet the opportunity for giving thanks for our blessings remains. Giving thanks for our blessings, an easy enough concept, yes? We are understandably thankful for good health, prosperity, and happiness for ourselves and those we care about, when life shows up as we plan, and when misfortune passes us by, yet this is half of what the experience that life in its fullness exposes us to.
We and those we love also get sick, die, loose jobs , see businesses falter and sometimes fail, and experience disappointment, fear, and betrayal. What about this half of life? How is it possible to experience gratitude for the shadow aspect of being alive, and if we did, how would that change our experience of this other half of life? The following is an old Taoist folktale, providing one route to seeing the shadow in the light and the light in the shadow, rounding out the possibility for gratitude.
“A man who lived on the northern frontier of China had a unique way of interpreting events. One day, for no apparent reason, his son’s mare ran away. Everyone tried to console him, but the father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” The neighbors thought him crazy. Some months later the mare returned, bringing with it a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, yet his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Again, the neighbors thought him odd. The father and son’s household was richer by a fine horse, which the son loved to ride. One day the son fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but the father asked once again, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” By now the neighbors simply shrugged, unable to figure out what was with this old man.
A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. Because the son was lame he was not able to join the fighting and stayed at home working the fields. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. The father and son survived, taking care of each other and eventually helping to build the village up again. The old man’s equanimity in meeting circumstances proved to be an odd and crazy wisdom.
Truly, what we deem a blessing can lead to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end. It is impossible to truly know which is which. The mystery of life is unfathomable. “
This is not to say that the challenges and difficulties we experience need be celebrated. It is to say that unanticipated and unwanted change, however dark and painful, contains the possibility of light and growth and when we are able to keep this in mind, we begin to introduce light and open ourselves to embracing growth in all the places we find ourselves.
Here are some personal examples of gratitude that flow out of such an approach:
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Thank you for disease for it taught me that this life is precious and to appreciate being here now.
Thank you for those who express anger in my direction for they teach me how to stay in my heart, to communicate more effectively, to see others’ perspectives, and to remain true to my values in the face of dissatisfaction.
Thanks for my sins for they teach me how off the mark I am and lead me back home.
Thank you for my failures for they teach me to find new roads to travel upon my path to accomplishment.
Thank you for decay for it allows life to recycle its raw materials.
Thank you for my cesarean section for it allowed me to live and continue to be here for my child.
Thank you for the storm so I could experience the immense kindness of others and, when the time came, to give it back.
Thank you for the ability to feel pain, express myself, and heal.
Thank you for the rain and the cold for they allow me to relish the dryness and warmth.
In this light, what might you add to your list to experience full circle gratitude?
I found my focus on a deeper level, what really moved and inspired me, which made choosing possible. Working with Lisa has given me the clarity and focus to move forward in my life and understand my role in the creation of my reality. ”
