Unlocking Your Ability

by Lisa Brick | Oct 26, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom

We often feel locked out of accessing what we desire; that fulfilling relationship, that sense of security that we are capable and worthy, that our lives have meaning, that we can create a livelihood that will both support us financially and emotionally, that we can experience feeling well and being fit. Our ability to make our desires our experience is within each and every one of us. Where’s the combination or key that we can use to open the lock? How can we learn how to use it and gain access to that ability?

Consider the mechanism of a lock. While the release is designed within the lock itself, it requires an external force to activate the internal position that creates the opening. The external mechanism is two fold; a combination or a key AND a person who knows how to use it and who wants to get what’s inside.

Depending upon the complexity of a lock and what it is intended to protect, it will have varying levels of alignments in order to open. A padlock not only has a combination of numbers which create such an alignment one position at a time, the positions must be approached from a specific direction (right or left) for the lock to release. Unlocking ourselves is similarly complex yet achievable with concerted intention and effort.

Mindfulness, inquiry, focus, and reframing how we interpret experience to enliven ourselves and open possibility is a foolproof combination to open our inherent abilities to create the lives we desire. How do we use this combination to gain access to that which is already inside of us?

 Be mindful of where you feel stuck or consistently hitting your head against a preverbal wall. If there are many areas tease them out one at a time so you can look at each area individually. Listen to what you are telling yourself about the first specific situation you are looking to transform.
 Inquire how what you are telling yourself could be a mental distortion of the situation. See if it is an non-truth. Ask yourself how your body feels when you listen to that thought as if it were TRUTH.
 Focus on what it is you truly want in the situation.
 Reframe how you perceive the situation and what you tell yourself in a way that will lead you towards what you desire, and act upon this new perception.

Becoming proficient at using this combination is neither simple nor effortless, just as opening any lock necessitates remembering what the combination is, understanding how to use it effectively, and actually utilizing it. Here’s how one individual used it very effectively:

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John is a smart and capable person so he was able to pull this off for a long time. His strategy worked until he wanted to become part of an organization. He found that he was having a hard time fitting in. He bluffed his way through, pretending to know what he didn’t. Ultimately he was fired for putting the organization at risk by his incapacity to ask for necessary and appropriate assistance.

Here’s how he used the combination to unlock his hidden abilities:

 Mindfulness: John became mindful that the thought “I have to figure everything out for myself” was creating havoc in his professional life. He felt like a phony, stressed and vulnerable, when he pretended to know what he didn’t.
 Inquiry: John asked himself how the idea that he could not ask for help was non-truth. He saw that by not asking for help situations had blown up in his face and that his strategy was neither keeping him safe nor employed.
 Focus: He identified what he did want which was to be able to ask and receive help and assistance from others as well as offer help and assistance to others while feeling confident within himself.
 Reframe: John changed the message he was telling himself to “I need help at times and it’s ok.” His reframe has created a greater sense of relaxation around his levels of competency and incompetency. Incompetency has become an opportunity for learning and greater competency!

John is very comfortable working within organizations now. He has become an organizational leader in many domains.

Please feel free to use this combination, MIFR, the Swiffer for the mind to unlock your abilities. To build competency using the MIFR read more of our blogs, join our groups, and consider one-on-one coaching. MIFR your way to what you desire.