by Lisa Brick | Nov 26, 2012 | Adjusting to Change, Finding Freedom, Opening our Doors of Perception
Thanksgiving has come and gone yet the opportunity for giving thanks for our blessings remains. Giving thanks for our blessings, an easy enough concept, yes? We are understandably thankful for good health, prosperity, and happiness for ourselves and those we care about, when life shows up as we plan, and when misfortune passes us by, yet this is half of what the experience that life in its fullness exposes us to.
We and those we love also get sick, die, loose jobs , see businesses falter and sometimes fail, and experience disappointment, fear, and betrayal. What about this half of life? How is it possible to experience gratitude for the shadow aspect of being alive, and if we did, how would that change our experience of this other half of life? The following is an old Taoist folktale, providing one route to seeing the shadow in the light and the light in the shadow, rounding out the possibility for gratitude.
“A man who lived on the northern frontier of China had a unique way of interpreting events. One day, for no apparent reason, his son’s mare ran away. Everyone tried to console him, but the father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” The neighbors thought him crazy. Some months later the mare returned, bringing with it a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, yet his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Again, the neighbors thought him odd. The father and son’s household was richer by a fine horse, which the son loved to ride. One day the son fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but the father asked once again, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” By now the neighbors simply shrugged, unable to figure out what was with this old man.
A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. Because the son was lame he was not able to join the fighting and stayed at home working the fields. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. The father and son survived, taking care of each other and eventually helping to build the village up again. The old man’s equanimity in meeting circumstances proved to be an odd and crazy wisdom.
Truly, what we deem a blessing can lead to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end. It is impossible to truly know which is which. The mystery of life is unfathomable. “
This is not to say that the challenges and difficulties we experience need be celebrated. It is to say that unanticipated and unwanted change, however dark and painful, contains the possibility of light and growth and when we are able to keep this in mind, we begin to introduce light and open ourselves to embracing growth in all the places we find ourselves.
Here are some personal examples of gratitude that flow out of such an approach:
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Thank you for disease for it taught me that this life is precious and to appreciate being here now.
Thank you for those who express anger in my direction for they teach me how to stay in my heart, to communicate more effectively, to see others’ perspectives, and to remain true to my values in the face of dissatisfaction.
Thanks for my sins for they teach me how off the mark I am and lead me back home.
Thank you for my failures for they teach me to find new roads to travel upon my path to accomplishment.
Thank you for decay for it allows life to recycle its raw materials.
Thank you for my cesarean section for it allowed me to live and continue to be here for my child.
Thank you for the storm so I could experience the immense kindness of others and, when the time came, to give it back.
Thank you for the ability to feel pain, express myself, and heal.
Thank you for the rain and the cold for they allow me to relish the dryness and warmth.
In this light, what might you add to your list to experience full circle gratitude?
by Lisa Brick | Nov 12, 2012 | Blog, Opening our Doors of Perception
This illustrative story of the “Blind Men and the Elephant” is a many-layered parable about individual limitation and ego.
Three blind men came to an elephant. They were told that it was an elephant. The blind men asked, “What is the elephant like?” and began to touch its body. One of them said: “It is like a pillar.” This blind man had touched its leg. Another touched its ears and said, “The elephant is like a husking basket.” A third touched the elephant’s trunk and said, “It is like a giant snake.” The men walked away arguing as to which one was right.
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We need each other to grasp the nature of our collective reality if we are to innovate collective solutions to family, societal, and global issues. We have the capacity to listen to a myriad of perspectives and choose new ways to perceive that lift us together and allow for new and more rewarding ways forward. Any one of us can do this, and, when we do, it changes the dynamic for us all.
by Lisa Brick | Nov 12, 2012 | Adjusting to Change, Blog
Sandy’s gone yet the chaos left in its wake continues to reverberate in our lives. We have all lost something. At worst, lives have been lost. At best, we’ve lost a sense of security. In between, we’ve lost homes, income, cars, trees, sleep, ease of transportation, comfort, food, and chunks of our sanity. How do we find peace and a semblance of order knowing how vulnerable our lives are to powers beyond our control?
I offer the following admonition as a vehicle for peace and a semblance of order during this and any time of upheaval;
“Talk to yourself in two languages – what do I fear and what do I love – in order to balance ….” —Peter Shepherd
Some facts, whether we like them or not:
1. What we fear has happened.
2. It will happen again, what with climate change and unusually consistent extreme weather.
3. Weather events are beyond our control.
4. Severe weather events bring up understandable fear and have the capability of causing real and lasting damage.
When we become mindful of our fears we can begin to assess what it is we love that may be at risk. When we focus on what we love we can begin to design actions capable of protecting what we love given the information available. For instance, most of us love a heated home in cold weather. If our heat source depends on electric, what back up systems can we institute if we know our electric can be knocked out? Pursuing options may include back up generators, ensuring there is wood accessible for a fireplace/wood stove, installing a gas fireplace, identifying family or friends nearby that would host you should they have backups and you don’t or can’t for whatever reason, etc.
Although weather events are outside of our control, our readiness and ability to respond efficiently and effectively is very much within our control. What we love is a powerful motivator to shift our focus from what we can’t to what we can affect. Doing this, we regain our power to direct out lives, even when our lives are impacted by forces beyond our control.
When it comes to nature disrupting our lives there are steps we can take in advance to protect what we love and ameliorate the impact of what we can’t control. What follows are some suggestions to do just that while maximizing our time, money, and sanity:
1. Purchase a supply of dried and canned foods, candles, matches, flashlights, batteries and water.
2. Have a solar, crank, and battery powered emergency radio in your dwelling.
3. Follow the directions given by the police and other health agencies, evacuating when and where directed.
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5. Consider purchasing a case of snap packs from a local outdoors store to keep hands and feet warm. These can be put anywhere where body warmth is desired.
6. Purchase ice or fill and freeze plastic containers of water to maintain cold in your refrigerator/freezer for a few extra days.
7. If you evacuate to a hotel, bring easy to prepare and non-perishable foods and a cooler. You will be able to make sandwiches, serve cereal, snack, and eat fresh fruits and veggies (carrots, celery, peppers, tomatoes, etc.) for a time regardless of the external conditions. It will also prevent you from having to use your gasoline to search for food.
8. Locate and have on hand crayons, pens, pencils, paper, art supplies books for reading and storytelling, board games, toys and other entertainment for all ages that doesn’t require electricity.
9. Establish a communication plan with friends and family with whom you want to stay in touch. Have a car charger and back up storage battery to keep your mobile phones operable. Decide in advance what communication venues: phone, text, email, are realistic and possible.
10. If you evacuate to a hotel, find out about their plan for hotel guests should the power go out. You may be safer at the hotel yet still without power if they have no backup or it fails.
11. Charge all electronic devices prior to the onset of the weather event.
12. Neaten up the house before the storm. Know where your supplies are. It’s not as easy to see or find necessary items when the lights go out.
13. Stock up on pet supplies.
14. Sign up for text alerts from your state emergency management center and local utility companies if they offer such programs.
15. Have a chunk of cash on hand in case the ATM’s and banks go down temporarily or merchant credit card terminals are inoperable.
16. If you must leave your house, leave a light that can be seen from outside on so friends and neighbors can check if your power is on from outside your house.
17. If you feel stuck inside or restless you can get a great workout and release stress by going up and down any stairs in the building. Exercise will help you think clearer and sleep more soundly.
18. Photograph any damage to your home, car or other property for insurance purposes.
19. Fill your car’s gas tank and a couple of large (proper, approved) gasoline containers in advance of the storm. Gas may be temporarily unavailable afterwards.
20. If you or a family member takes life preserving medications have at least a months supply on hand at all times. This need not be a man made crisis on top of a natural one!!!
Being prepared provides an immense sense of confidence and security and is totally achievable. Keep your focus on what you love.
by Lisa Brick | Oct 26, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom
We often feel locked out of accessing what we desire; that fulfilling relationship, that sense of security that we are capable and worthy, that our lives have meaning, that we can create a livelihood that will both support us financially and emotionally, that we can experience feeling well and being fit. Our ability to make our desires our experience is within each and every one of us. Where’s the combination or key that we can use to open the lock? How can we learn how to use it and gain access to that ability?
Consider the mechanism of a lock. While the release is designed within the lock itself, it requires an external force to activate the internal position that creates the opening. The external mechanism is two fold; a combination or a key AND a person who knows how to use it and who wants to get what’s inside.
Depending upon the complexity of a lock and what it is intended to protect, it will have varying levels of alignments in order to open. A padlock not only has a combination of numbers which create such an alignment one position at a time, the positions must be approached from a specific direction (right or left) for the lock to release. Unlocking ourselves is similarly complex yet achievable with concerted intention and effort.
Mindfulness, inquiry, focus, and reframing how we interpret experience to enliven ourselves and open possibility is a foolproof combination to open our inherent abilities to create the lives we desire. How do we use this combination to gain access to that which is already inside of us?
Be mindful of where you feel stuck or consistently hitting your head against a preverbal wall. If there are many areas tease them out one at a time so you can look at each area individually. Listen to what you are telling yourself about the first specific situation you are looking to transform.
Inquire how what you are telling yourself could be a mental distortion of the situation. See if it is an non-truth. Ask yourself how your body feels when you listen to that thought as if it were TRUTH.
Focus on what it is you truly want in the situation.
Reframe how you perceive the situation and what you tell yourself in a way that will lead you towards what you desire, and act upon this new perception.
Becoming proficient at using this combination is neither simple nor effortless, just as opening any lock necessitates remembering what the combination is, understanding how to use it effectively, and actually utilizing it. Here’s how one individual used it very effectively:
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John is a smart and capable person so he was able to pull this off for a long time. His strategy worked until he wanted to become part of an organization. He found that he was having a hard time fitting in. He bluffed his way through, pretending to know what he didn’t. Ultimately he was fired for putting the organization at risk by his incapacity to ask for necessary and appropriate assistance.
Here’s how he used the combination to unlock his hidden abilities:
Mindfulness: John became mindful that the thought “I have to figure everything out for myself” was creating havoc in his professional life. He felt like a phony, stressed and vulnerable, when he pretended to know what he didn’t.
Inquiry: John asked himself how the idea that he could not ask for help was non-truth. He saw that by not asking for help situations had blown up in his face and that his strategy was neither keeping him safe nor employed.
Focus: He identified what he did want which was to be able to ask and receive help and assistance from others as well as offer help and assistance to others while feeling confident within himself.
Reframe: John changed the message he was telling himself to “I need help at times and it’s ok.” His reframe has created a greater sense of relaxation around his levels of competency and incompetency. Incompetency has become an opportunity for learning and greater competency!
John is very comfortable working within organizations now. He has become an organizational leader in many domains.
Please feel free to use this combination, MIFR, the Swiffer for the mind to unlock your abilities. To build competency using the MIFR read more of our blogs, join our groups, and consider one-on-one coaching. MIFR your way to what you desire.
by Lisa Brick | Sep 7, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Success
During coaching sessions it is often evident that my clients’ minds and bodies are in different time zones, especially during periods of greatest discomfort emotionally. Their minds are either in the past or the future, experiencing upset about what has happen or what will happen, while their bodies are in the present moment experiencing anxiety and an incapability to take effective action. While the mind can “time travel”, the body lives always and in all ways in the present moment. Actionable steps, of which the mind is the architect and the body the general contractor and construction crew, are only possible in the present. As long as the body and mind remain in different time zones the body is stuck, anxious, and impotent, unable to take effective action. Instead of the mind/body being “here now” consciously and creatively taking action they are “nowhere” being ineffectual.
When the mind is grounded and centered in the present, it is aware of what it is doing. When grounded and centered in the present it is either seeking clarity regarding what it desires or, having reached clarity of its goals and objectives, designing strategies that work in harmony with the bodies’ ability to take action in a grounded, balanced, and centered manner. The present is the only time zone in which the mind can manifest creative action through the body, in a succession of single actions, one by one, here and now. The present is also the only time zone where together, mind and body can harvest, enjoy, and truly relax into the bounty it created.
How is it possible to bring the mind and body into the same time zone, especially when surrounded by situations of duality and chaos? Infinitely, with practice. A simple and highly effective way is to mentally note one’s breath and its consequences. The following is an exercise you can play with and choose to practice any time you notice your mind and body are in different time zones:
On your next breath, notice the sensations that occur as you breathe in and out. On your inhale, how do your nostrils feel as the air passes in? Do they spread or quiver? Does the air feel warm, cool, or neutral as it enters and touches your temperature sensors? Where do you feel the sensation? Are your sinuses clear? How does your throat feel as the air passes through on its way to your lungs? What happens to your chest cavity as you inhale and your lungs fill? Or perhaps you notice that your lungs aren’t filling, that you are taking little sips of air and your chest is barely moving. Play with your breath. As you breathe in more deeply or less deeply, what happens to those small muscles that assist your rib cage to shape-shift? What do you feel when you breathe out? Is the air the same temperature as when it entered? How does your rib cage change? What message are your receiving from your body, if any, are you becoming aware of as your focus enters the present moment and joins your body? Do you feel vitality in your body, tiredness, a sensation of pain somewhere, pleasure, or perhaps various sensations in varying areas? Simply notice your always present partner in life, your body. Notice you are together now, in the same time and place, the present moment here and now. How do you feel differently now that you are all in one time zone?
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Discover and practice remaining in the present, discern what it is you really want in life, and design conscious and intentional action steps to manifest yourself as designed through coaching. A conscious, intentional life by your design is possible, available, achievable, and awaiting your embrace. Sign up today for a complementary coaching session to experience the positive power of you.
I found my focus on a deeper level, what really moved and inspired me, which made choosing possible. Working with Lisa has given me the clarity and focus to move forward in my life and understand my role in the creation of my reality. ”
