I got it, this is not a sexy title for a blog post.  I don’t even like seeing it there.  That word.  It conjures up all sorts of awful images, all matter of diseases and circumstances none of us choose willingly, at least not consciously!  So what’s with the bummer of a title of this blog post?

I challenge the way we have come to define and use “dying” as a concept.  I question the legitimacy of the term the way it is used.  I declare that the way we have been taught to use “dying” causes unnecessary and prolonged suffering, for everyone who continues to take breath.  We suffer for the future and diminish the ability to love in the present

People do not spend days, months, or years dying.  Dying occurs in a single moment.  All the rest of the time we are living. Yes, we may be loosing functionality yet we are still living.  Yes, we may be in pain yet we are still living.  Yes, we may become dependent in ways that we haven’t been since we were babies and unable to move ourselves independently yet we are still living.  We are still alive.  Our loved ones are still alive.  Be present, be loving, be clear.

We have the option to live powerfully until we die powerfully, in that one moment when we’re gone, we’re out, we’re beyond the reach of gross senses, and possibly, where we are simply no more.  Yet, until that moment, we are living.  Our loved ones are living.
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We don’t have loved ones who are dying.  We have loved ones who are very much alive in ways we may never have imagined and possibly can’t quite comprehend yet they are living until they are not – a single moment of transition from life to no life.

So to those of us who have or will have loved ones who we find out are closer to making the transition, which is all of us, I invite us to abandon the story that our loved ones are “dying” and love them while they are alive and once they aren’t.  Be here powerfully and lovingly for every moment of their lives and then be there every moment of their beyond life.

Or not.