There are numerous ways to conceptualize ‘what is’. How we conceptualize ‘what is’ creates what we experience, so every conceptual version has an inherent validity and truth for the conceptualizer! This inherent validity and truth becomes what we refer to as our ‘reality’.
Some conceptualizatons create stress and suffering, like concepts that include shoulds(ex. My company should not have downsized and let me go). Others create a “mediocre” experience of life (ex. I am not smart enough to get the kind of job I really want). Then there are those that create an extraordinary experience of being alive (I learn from and am empowered by everyone I meet and every situation that arises).
Within these conceptualizations there are deeper conceptualizations and subtleties. For example, the word love can be conceptualized as being responsible for our beloved’s happiness. Within this concept may lie an assumption that if I do things to make my beloved happy my beloved will be happy. Chances are this conceptualization of love will end up with two challenged people, each blaming the other for their unhappiness. We have these conceptualizations around every word we know. A new conceptualization around love might be that love is my commitment to support my beloved in discoveringwhat makes him/her happy.
As children we grow up in our parents’ conceptual creations (their home, their relationship, their lifestyle choices, their belief systems). As adults we have the opportunity to refine, reconceptualize, and create our own meanings about our inherited conceptualizaitons.
What we are not conscious of, what we do not assume responsibility for, or do not examine, is reality being created from the past which we have no power to transform. Transformation and finding what serves us in creating lives we truly appreciate living comes from re-framing the past, releasing the villains and the victors from their assigned roles, taking back responsibility from those we have attributed it to, and assuming full responsibility for how people, places, and situations show up for us. If we are experiencing an inordinate amount of suffering or numbness we can choose to look inward to examine our conceptualizations and see how we can change what we have the ultimate power to change, our concepts about life.
The path of assuming responsibility for one’s conceptualizations is a curvy one. There will be times, when we are ready to evolve further, when we will find obstacles in our way that we then get to dissolve internally! It is ultimately the process of making lemonade from lemons!
One practiced approach to examining how we are conceptualizing and creating our reality is to explore our thoughts about basic ideals that we hold by writing them down. Thoughts move too fast across the screen of our minds to examine adequately. Writing them down slows them down so we can shed our soul light upon them to see which are moving our experience in the direction that we consciously want to be moving and which are keeping us stuck or moving us further from the experiences we desire.
When examining conceptualizations, look to how they sync with our intentions of beingness. If peace is a valued experience and we hold it that ‘the world is a violent place’, how does that effect our being full of peace? This concept is more likely to generate fear that peace. In this example a transformed concept may be that ‘although there is violence in certain places in the world at certain times, there is a preponderance of peace in the world’. This new conceptualization can lead one to choose to take action from an internal experience of peace to work for a NGO, introduce increased peace in one’s home, make peace with the boss, independent of one’s choice to change jobs or not, etc. Being peace with what is does not mean that we need be complacent.
Some examples of singular concepts we might choose to explore are those around health, happiness, money and wealth, beauty, romance, manliness, femininity, power, freedom, independence, etc. Examples of more complex comceptualizations may include what makes a good spouse, what grades mean, how children should act, aging, what the world should be like, etc.
Consciously changing our conceptualizations is a powerful practice that shifts who we are in the world and therefore shifts our experience of the world. Feel free to try it and report back.
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