by Lisa Brick | Sep 16, 2013 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Health & Wellness, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Relieving Stress, Simplicity
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Source: Living With Less: America’s Quest for Simplicity
by Lisa Brick | Apr 24, 2013 | Adjusting to Change, Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Success
When we recognize we don’t have what we need to “get the job done” whether it is clothing so we can show up a certain way or tools to complete a project we’ve launched, we have a few choices. They are to give up on our objectives, make due with what we have, or go out and shop for whatever we need to accomplish our goals. We have the same options regarding our thoughts. If our negative thinking is leading us to give up on our objectives, feel incapable or insecure, or continually uncomfortable “making due” we can begin to “shop” for new and more effective thoughts that allow us to accomplish the personal goals that mean so much to us. (more…)
by Lisa Brick | Jan 28, 2013 | Blog, Choice, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception
“Stories are the only enchantment possible, for when we begin to see our suffering as a story, we are saved.” – Anais Nin
You are powerful beyond your comprehension. You are also perfect, contrary to what you have been told or may think. Now, what stories have you been creating your experience of life out of? You are weaving the fabric of your life from these stories.
It’s a dog eat dog world.
Men are from Mars, Women from Venus.
Those who get ahead are lucky.
My background set me up for failure.
The world is a dangerous place.
Everyone is out for themselves.
I’m not smart.
I’m not talented.
Life sucks and then you die.
If it can go wrong it will.
I married the wrong person.
My kids, spouse, parents, disease, boss, world, etc. are holding me back.
Ignoring it could be a matter of life and death in some see that cipla cialis extreme cases. No one is on line viagra cute-n-tiny.com talking on a cell phone. Men can use levitra free samples this herbal oil to treat ED and impotence. It is the time to conclude that, now the logic is clear that why researchers and physicians did says cialis in kanada to every patient with diabetes to do exercise regularly.
How are these stories serving you? If they are not, change them. BE CAUSE consciously. You are powerful beyond your comprehension. Once you get clear that you are ready for a new story, use the pathway below to deconstruct the old and create the new.
Mindfulness – What story have I been living out of? Choose one story at a time.
Inquiry – What evidence have I gathered to reinforce this story? Your evidence is as biased as your story.
Focus – What am I feeling as a result? How do my behaviors reinforce my story? What results are being created?
Reframe – What story do I want to be living out of? Begin writing this new story in your mind and begin living as if it were true because it will be, gathering one shred of evidence at a time, however small. Repeat above with each story that is causing you suffering.
If you think this is too simple you are telling yourself a story; ”My problems are too complex and real for this stupid, insensitive, annoying message.” If you are angry you are telling yourself a story; “Whoever is writing this doesn’t understand what I have been through and is insensitive and cruel.” Your freedom is more important to me than your story. I feel empathy for your suffering. So much so, I am willing to have you be angry and challenge the presence of the door I am showing you. Get angry. Notice how attached you are to your story, how willing you are to defend it. You will fight for it, even die for it. You are powerful enough to change your story. Here’s the story of one person who did.
Jules had dropped out of two schools. For the past year had spent most of his time in his small apartment on his computer surfing the web, checking out the great stuff everyone else on Facebook was doing, visiting porn sites, and feeling depressed. Friends and family were telling him he was wasting his life. Didn’t he know it! One day he ventured out and found himself with a stranger sharing his story. Remarkably, the stranger had an entirely different take; “Congratulations, what wisdom!” said the stranger. “Rather than forcing your way forward on a path that obviously was not inspiring you, you’ve allowed yourself to stop and retreat to the cave. What would be worth coming out of the cave for? What would be worth attempting and even failing at if it offered you the possibility of success if you kept at it?”
In the light of the stranger’s perspectives Jules saw himself as wise, not wasteful, the cave as a valid place of retreat, and failure as part of the path towards accomplishing something he determined is of real and significant value. Jules asked himself the stranger’s questions. He went back to school, at first taking one course. He threw himself into it, put in the effort and succeeded this time. After a series of unusual and unpleasant events, throughout which his new self acceptance, appreciation, and goals determined his choices, he moved to a new city with friends, enrolled in college full time and is pursuing his new empowering story of self.
In all fairness, there were other conversations with the stranger, reinforcing Jules’s power and capabilities. The stranger was a coach. The story is true.
“Great stories happen to those who can tell them.”
– Ira Glass
by Lisa Brick | Dec 8, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception
I am often asked “What is coaching?” This morning, as I picked up a book that was highly recommended by friend and coach Robin Sampson of First Circle Leaders http://firstcircleleaders.webs.com, I came upon a poem by Hafiz, a 14th century Persian mystic and poet. While the poem certainly is not speaking of coaching but a possible relationship with the divine, there is much here that a sensitive and committed coach supports a client to do for themselves in their own time, with total loving kindness. Enjoy…
Tired of Speaking Sweetly
Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
Break all our teacup talk of G-d.
If you had the courage and
Could give the Beloved His choice, some nights,
He would just drag you around the room
By your hair,
Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
That bring you no joy.
Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
And wants to rip to shreds
All your erroneous notions of truth.
That make you fight with yourself, dear one,
And with others,
Causing the world to weep
On too many fine days.
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God wants to manhandle us,
Lock us inside a time room with Himself
And practice his dropkick.
The Beloved sometimes wants
To do us a great favor:
Hold up upside down
And shake all the nonsense out.
But when we hear
He is in such a “playful drunken mood”
Most everyone I know
Quickly packs their bags and hightails it
Out of town.
When will you be staying in town?
by Lisa Brick | Nov 26, 2012 | Adjusting to Change, Finding Freedom, Opening our Doors of Perception
Thanksgiving has come and gone yet the opportunity for giving thanks for our blessings remains. Giving thanks for our blessings, an easy enough concept, yes? We are understandably thankful for good health, prosperity, and happiness for ourselves and those we care about, when life shows up as we plan, and when misfortune passes us by, yet this is half of what the experience that life in its fullness exposes us to.
We and those we love also get sick, die, loose jobs , see businesses falter and sometimes fail, and experience disappointment, fear, and betrayal. What about this half of life? How is it possible to experience gratitude for the shadow aspect of being alive, and if we did, how would that change our experience of this other half of life? The following is an old Taoist folktale, providing one route to seeing the shadow in the light and the light in the shadow, rounding out the possibility for gratitude.
“A man who lived on the northern frontier of China had a unique way of interpreting events. One day, for no apparent reason, his son’s mare ran away. Everyone tried to console him, but the father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” The neighbors thought him crazy. Some months later the mare returned, bringing with it a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, yet his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Again, the neighbors thought him odd. The father and son’s household was richer by a fine horse, which the son loved to ride. One day the son fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but the father asked once again, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” By now the neighbors simply shrugged, unable to figure out what was with this old man.
A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. Because the son was lame he was not able to join the fighting and stayed at home working the fields. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. The father and son survived, taking care of each other and eventually helping to build the village up again. The old man’s equanimity in meeting circumstances proved to be an odd and crazy wisdom.
Truly, what we deem a blessing can lead to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end. It is impossible to truly know which is which. The mystery of life is unfathomable. “
This is not to say that the challenges and difficulties we experience need be celebrated. It is to say that unanticipated and unwanted change, however dark and painful, contains the possibility of light and growth and when we are able to keep this in mind, we begin to introduce light and open ourselves to embracing growth in all the places we find ourselves.
Here are some personal examples of gratitude that flow out of such an approach:
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Thank you for disease for it taught me that this life is precious and to appreciate being here now.
Thank you for those who express anger in my direction for they teach me how to stay in my heart, to communicate more effectively, to see others’ perspectives, and to remain true to my values in the face of dissatisfaction.
Thanks for my sins for they teach me how off the mark I am and lead me back home.
Thank you for my failures for they teach me to find new roads to travel upon my path to accomplishment.
Thank you for decay for it allows life to recycle its raw materials.
Thank you for my cesarean section for it allowed me to live and continue to be here for my child.
Thank you for the storm so I could experience the immense kindness of others and, when the time came, to give it back.
Thank you for the ability to feel pain, express myself, and heal.
Thank you for the rain and the cold for they allow me to relish the dryness and warmth.
In this light, what might you add to your list to experience full circle gratitude?
by Lisa Brick | Nov 12, 2012 | Blog, Opening our Doors of Perception
This illustrative story of the “Blind Men and the Elephant” is a many-layered parable about individual limitation and ego.
Three blind men came to an elephant. They were told that it was an elephant. The blind men asked, “What is the elephant like?” and began to touch its body. One of them said: “It is like a pillar.” This blind man had touched its leg. Another touched its ears and said, “The elephant is like a husking basket.” A third touched the elephant’s trunk and said, “It is like a giant snake.” The men walked away arguing as to which one was right.
Thankfully, much trouble isn’t caused as the friendly bacterium which is present in the intestine protects the lining of the intestine. bought that cialis online If it is almost time for your next dose, skip the missed dose and go back to sleep, it leaves a purchase viagra from india women frustrated and unable to sleep. Side viagra sildenafil canada deeprootsmag.org Effects * There can be some common side effects of Kamagra that can be cure by medical help. After taking this pill you will find great flow of blood towards the penis and great in effect. sildenafil 50mg tablets Each of the blind men mistakes a part for the whole, just as we can mistake our particular perspective as “The Truth” while disparaging or ignoring the perspectives of others. We are often unconscious that our perspective is limited, that there is more to a situation than what meets our eye. We can become quite dogmatic in our attachment to our particular keyhole view. When we interact with others in this manner we become combatant, arguing our case with the goal of being right rather than adding additional perspectives to a common pool of meaning so innovative approaches can be discovered and explored.
We need each other to grasp the nature of our collective reality if we are to innovate collective solutions to family, societal, and global issues. We have the capacity to listen to a myriad of perspectives and choose new ways to perceive that lift us together and allow for new and more rewarding ways forward. Any one of us can do this, and, when we do, it changes the dynamic for us all.
by Lisa Brick | Sep 7, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Success
During coaching sessions it is often evident that my clients’ minds and bodies are in different time zones, especially during periods of greatest discomfort emotionally. Their minds are either in the past or the future, experiencing upset about what has happen or what will happen, while their bodies are in the present moment experiencing anxiety and an incapability to take effective action. While the mind can “time travel”, the body lives always and in all ways in the present moment. Actionable steps, of which the mind is the architect and the body the general contractor and construction crew, are only possible in the present. As long as the body and mind remain in different time zones the body is stuck, anxious, and impotent, unable to take effective action. Instead of the mind/body being “here now” consciously and creatively taking action they are “nowhere” being ineffectual.
When the mind is grounded and centered in the present, it is aware of what it is doing. When grounded and centered in the present it is either seeking clarity regarding what it desires or, having reached clarity of its goals and objectives, designing strategies that work in harmony with the bodies’ ability to take action in a grounded, balanced, and centered manner. The present is the only time zone in which the mind can manifest creative action through the body, in a succession of single actions, one by one, here and now. The present is also the only time zone where together, mind and body can harvest, enjoy, and truly relax into the bounty it created.
How is it possible to bring the mind and body into the same time zone, especially when surrounded by situations of duality and chaos? Infinitely, with practice. A simple and highly effective way is to mentally note one’s breath and its consequences. The following is an exercise you can play with and choose to practice any time you notice your mind and body are in different time zones:
On your next breath, notice the sensations that occur as you breathe in and out. On your inhale, how do your nostrils feel as the air passes in? Do they spread or quiver? Does the air feel warm, cool, or neutral as it enters and touches your temperature sensors? Where do you feel the sensation? Are your sinuses clear? How does your throat feel as the air passes through on its way to your lungs? What happens to your chest cavity as you inhale and your lungs fill? Or perhaps you notice that your lungs aren’t filling, that you are taking little sips of air and your chest is barely moving. Play with your breath. As you breathe in more deeply or less deeply, what happens to those small muscles that assist your rib cage to shape-shift? What do you feel when you breathe out? Is the air the same temperature as when it entered? How does your rib cage change? What message are your receiving from your body, if any, are you becoming aware of as your focus enters the present moment and joins your body? Do you feel vitality in your body, tiredness, a sensation of pain somewhere, pleasure, or perhaps various sensations in varying areas? Simply notice your always present partner in life, your body. Notice you are together now, in the same time and place, the present moment here and now. How do you feel differently now that you are all in one time zone?
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Discover and practice remaining in the present, discern what it is you really want in life, and design conscious and intentional action steps to manifest yourself as designed through coaching. A conscious, intentional life by your design is possible, available, achievable, and awaiting your embrace. Sign up today for a complementary coaching session to experience the positive power of you.
by admin | Aug 8, 2012 | Blog, Effective Communication, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Relationships
How often have you started to share something you’ve been thinking only to have the person you are speaking with begin to contradict you? It’s rare for any quality communication to take place after this happens. It’s more likely that you’ll end up arguing, or going silent and keeping your thoughts to yourself. Either way, if there was a purpose to your sharing it probably got lost in the interaction and you walked away feeling frustrated and not heard, because you weren’t. Chances are that you weren’t listening either.
This matters because, unless we live in a cave somewhere by ourselves, we create our lives through communication. Whether our relationships at work and at home are productive and joyful or destructive and a hassle depend on the quality of the conversations in which we engage. When we consistently feel that we are not being heard chances are we are not listening to ourselves, and are stuck in our opinions.
There is a way to clear communication where we are both heard and are able to hear others, where real conversation and connection occur. It has to do with shifting out of opinions and listening to and recognizing perspectives, our own and those of others.
For clarity I offer a few distinctions between how I am using the concepts of opinion and perspective in this post. I have pulled and integrated these definitions/distinctions from print and electronic sources. They are too changed to warrant a quoted source yet remain accurate to the spirit of the definitions.
Perspective is how you perceive, see, interpret, and experience life from the vantage point of you. By definition, it is acknowledged as limited, one of infinite possibilities of vantage points. A perspective is completely accurate for what you’ve lived and been exposed to through the filter of you at any given moment, and will subtly or grossly shift as your experience shifts. It is neither right nor wrong.
Having a perspective is acknowledging a relationship between you and everything else that must shift as you shift. While there can be no rational argument about perspectives, there can be inquiry into their usefulness and one can choose to open up to the perspectives of others, thereby broadening his/her view of reality.
Per•spec•tive
Noun: 1. A vista or outlook from a specific vantage point,
physical or psychological.
2. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to the whole.
3. The ability to perceive things in their actual
interrelations or comparative importance.
Opinion, on the other hand, is a subjective belief, and is the result of emotion or interpretation of facts. An opinion is often supported by argument, although people may draw opposing opinions from the same set of facts. Opinions rarely change without new arguments being presented and even then, may remain stagnant. Opinions are neither right nor wrong; they are merely a figment of what someone believes to be so and will most often defend vigorously. It is often reasoned that one opinion is better supported by the facts than another by analyzing the supporting arguments. In casual use, the term opinion may be the result of a person’s perspective, understanding, particular feelings, beliefs and desires. Opinions often refer to unsubstantiated information, in contrast to knowledge and fact-based beliefs.
O•pin•ion
Noun: 1. A belief or judgment formed about something, not
necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
2. The beliefs or views of a large number or majority of
people about a particular thing.
3. A belief or judgment that rests on ground insufficient to
produce complete certainty.
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The telephone rings.
Landlord: Hello.
Tenant: We have to cancel the floor refinishing job. I have a conflict on my calendar for that weekend.
Landlord: I feel angry about canceling this job. I presented you with dates and you choose the one we scheduled. I understand that you feel there’s a conflict. I’ve invested a considerable amount of time and effort setting up this job. There are numerous people involved. How can you resolve the conflict so you can do what you need and the refinishing can occur?
Tenant: This is a very important meeting I’ve set up (opinion). It will impact me economically (opinion). You don’t understand (opinion) because you make money differently from how I make money (opinion). Look, we’ve had many run ins in the past (opinion) and…
Landlord: (interrupting) I am asking you a question in the present regarding an upcoming situation in the future. How can it work that you have your meeting and we can go ahead with the refinishing job as planned? If you consider this question and you can’t we’ll take the next step. I have to go now. Please get back to me. I’ll be available later this afternoon. \
Tenant: Don’t you hang up on me (opinion). My life and time is just as important as yours is (opinion). Don’t you realize how important…
Landlord: (interrupting) I have a meeting in ten minutes. It takes me five to get there. I am hanging up the phone to make the meeting. Please let me know what you’ve come up with later. Bye. (over the tenant talking)
Imagine what it would look like if both parties were opining. The reason this dialogue did not become an argument is because the landlord recognized that he was hearing the tenant’s perspective, which were her opinions about the situation, and very real for her. The landlord felt no need to challenge or argue with the tenant’s opinions since they were secondary to the objective, which was seeing if it was possible to keep the schedule that was set up AND have the tenant be able to attend a meeting that was obviously important to her.
When you can listen to others and hear that what they are saying is very real from their perspective, which is the only perspective they have at that moment, and stay clear that your perspective is the same, it is much easier to open to hearing what is being said without the need to argue or challenge. Once you are able to do this your own perspective shifts a bit. It gets broader. It now encompasses another person’s perspective without agreement or disagreement. At that point you can acknowledge what’s important to them, share what’s important to you, and enter into a very new world of communication. This new world of communication will be calmer, clearer, and more effective at creating what you want and need while respecting their desire to create what they want or need.
“Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.” – Emma Thompson
“Bad human communication leaves us less room to grow.” – Rowan D. Williams
“… communication is two-sided – vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it… demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated”. – Roger Sessions
Sound unrealistic? It is, if you don’t retrain your approach to communication. Look into books on effective communication, speak with someone whom you respect for his/her communication skills, hire a coach and set listening and being open to perspectives instead of opining as your objective….and experience how much more effective, happy, and peaceful you will be!
I found my focus on a deeper level, what really moved and inspired me, which made choosing possible. Working with Lisa has given me the clarity and focus to move forward in my life and understand my role in the creation of my reality. ”
