by Lisa Brick | Dec 8, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception
I am often asked “What is coaching?” This morning, as I picked up a book that was highly recommended by friend and coach Robin Sampson of First Circle Leaders http://firstcircleleaders.webs.com, I came upon a poem by Hafiz, a 14th century Persian mystic and poet. While the poem certainly is not speaking of coaching but a possible relationship with the divine, there is much here that a sensitive and committed coach supports a client to do for themselves in their own time, with total loving kindness. Enjoy…
Tired of Speaking Sweetly
Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
Break all our teacup talk of G-d.
If you had the courage and
Could give the Beloved His choice, some nights,
He would just drag you around the room
By your hair,
Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
That bring you no joy.
Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
And wants to rip to shreds
All your erroneous notions of truth.
That make you fight with yourself, dear one,
And with others,
Causing the world to weep
On too many fine days.
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God wants to manhandle us,
Lock us inside a time room with Himself
And practice his dropkick.
The Beloved sometimes wants
To do us a great favor:
Hold up upside down
And shake all the nonsense out.
But when we hear
He is in such a “playful drunken mood”
Most everyone I know
Quickly packs their bags and hightails it
Out of town.
When will you be staying in town?
by Lisa Brick | Sep 7, 2012 | Blog, Finding Freedom, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Success
During coaching sessions it is often evident that my clients’ minds and bodies are in different time zones, especially during periods of greatest discomfort emotionally. Their minds are either in the past or the future, experiencing upset about what has happen or what will happen, while their bodies are in the present moment experiencing anxiety and an incapability to take effective action. While the mind can “time travel”, the body lives always and in all ways in the present moment. Actionable steps, of which the mind is the architect and the body the general contractor and construction crew, are only possible in the present. As long as the body and mind remain in different time zones the body is stuck, anxious, and impotent, unable to take effective action. Instead of the mind/body being “here now” consciously and creatively taking action they are “nowhere” being ineffectual.
When the mind is grounded and centered in the present, it is aware of what it is doing. When grounded and centered in the present it is either seeking clarity regarding what it desires or, having reached clarity of its goals and objectives, designing strategies that work in harmony with the bodies’ ability to take action in a grounded, balanced, and centered manner. The present is the only time zone in which the mind can manifest creative action through the body, in a succession of single actions, one by one, here and now. The present is also the only time zone where together, mind and body can harvest, enjoy, and truly relax into the bounty it created.
How is it possible to bring the mind and body into the same time zone, especially when surrounded by situations of duality and chaos? Infinitely, with practice. A simple and highly effective way is to mentally note one’s breath and its consequences. The following is an exercise you can play with and choose to practice any time you notice your mind and body are in different time zones:
On your next breath, notice the sensations that occur as you breathe in and out. On your inhale, how do your nostrils feel as the air passes in? Do they spread or quiver? Does the air feel warm, cool, or neutral as it enters and touches your temperature sensors? Where do you feel the sensation? Are your sinuses clear? How does your throat feel as the air passes through on its way to your lungs? What happens to your chest cavity as you inhale and your lungs fill? Or perhaps you notice that your lungs aren’t filling, that you are taking little sips of air and your chest is barely moving. Play with your breath. As you breathe in more deeply or less deeply, what happens to those small muscles that assist your rib cage to shape-shift? What do you feel when you breathe out? Is the air the same temperature as when it entered? How does your rib cage change? What message are your receiving from your body, if any, are you becoming aware of as your focus enters the present moment and joins your body? Do you feel vitality in your body, tiredness, a sensation of pain somewhere, pleasure, or perhaps various sensations in varying areas? Simply notice your always present partner in life, your body. Notice you are together now, in the same time and place, the present moment here and now. How do you feel differently now that you are all in one time zone?
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Discover and practice remaining in the present, discern what it is you really want in life, and design conscious and intentional action steps to manifest yourself as designed through coaching. A conscious, intentional life by your design is possible, available, achievable, and awaiting your embrace. Sign up today for a complementary coaching session to experience the positive power of you.
by admin | Aug 8, 2012 | Blog, Effective Communication, Navigating Life, Opening our Doors of Perception, Relationships
How often have you started to share something you’ve been thinking only to have the person you are speaking with begin to contradict you? It’s rare for any quality communication to take place after this happens. It’s more likely that you’ll end up arguing, or going silent and keeping your thoughts to yourself. Either way, if there was a purpose to your sharing it probably got lost in the interaction and you walked away feeling frustrated and not heard, because you weren’t. Chances are that you weren’t listening either.
This matters because, unless we live in a cave somewhere by ourselves, we create our lives through communication. Whether our relationships at work and at home are productive and joyful or destructive and a hassle depend on the quality of the conversations in which we engage. When we consistently feel that we are not being heard chances are we are not listening to ourselves, and are stuck in our opinions.
There is a way to clear communication where we are both heard and are able to hear others, where real conversation and connection occur. It has to do with shifting out of opinions and listening to and recognizing perspectives, our own and those of others.
For clarity I offer a few distinctions between how I am using the concepts of opinion and perspective in this post. I have pulled and integrated these definitions/distinctions from print and electronic sources. They are too changed to warrant a quoted source yet remain accurate to the spirit of the definitions.
Perspective is how you perceive, see, interpret, and experience life from the vantage point of you. By definition, it is acknowledged as limited, one of infinite possibilities of vantage points. A perspective is completely accurate for what you’ve lived and been exposed to through the filter of you at any given moment, and will subtly or grossly shift as your experience shifts. It is neither right nor wrong.
Having a perspective is acknowledging a relationship between you and everything else that must shift as you shift. While there can be no rational argument about perspectives, there can be inquiry into their usefulness and one can choose to open up to the perspectives of others, thereby broadening his/her view of reality.
Per•spec•tive
Noun: 1. A vista or outlook from a specific vantage point,
physical or psychological.
2. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to the whole.
3. The ability to perceive things in their actual
interrelations or comparative importance.
Opinion, on the other hand, is a subjective belief, and is the result of emotion or interpretation of facts. An opinion is often supported by argument, although people may draw opposing opinions from the same set of facts. Opinions rarely change without new arguments being presented and even then, may remain stagnant. Opinions are neither right nor wrong; they are merely a figment of what someone believes to be so and will most often defend vigorously. It is often reasoned that one opinion is better supported by the facts than another by analyzing the supporting arguments. In casual use, the term opinion may be the result of a person’s perspective, understanding, particular feelings, beliefs and desires. Opinions often refer to unsubstantiated information, in contrast to knowledge and fact-based beliefs.
O•pin•ion
Noun: 1. A belief or judgment formed about something, not
necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
2. The beliefs or views of a large number or majority of
people about a particular thing.
3. A belief or judgment that rests on ground insufficient to
produce complete certainty.
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The telephone rings.
Landlord: Hello.
Tenant: We have to cancel the floor refinishing job. I have a conflict on my calendar for that weekend.
Landlord: I feel angry about canceling this job. I presented you with dates and you choose the one we scheduled. I understand that you feel there’s a conflict. I’ve invested a considerable amount of time and effort setting up this job. There are numerous people involved. How can you resolve the conflict so you can do what you need and the refinishing can occur?
Tenant: This is a very important meeting I’ve set up (opinion). It will impact me economically (opinion). You don’t understand (opinion) because you make money differently from how I make money (opinion). Look, we’ve had many run ins in the past (opinion) and…
Landlord: (interrupting) I am asking you a question in the present regarding an upcoming situation in the future. How can it work that you have your meeting and we can go ahead with the refinishing job as planned? If you consider this question and you can’t we’ll take the next step. I have to go now. Please get back to me. I’ll be available later this afternoon. \
Tenant: Don’t you hang up on me (opinion). My life and time is just as important as yours is (opinion). Don’t you realize how important…
Landlord: (interrupting) I have a meeting in ten minutes. It takes me five to get there. I am hanging up the phone to make the meeting. Please let me know what you’ve come up with later. Bye. (over the tenant talking)
Imagine what it would look like if both parties were opining. The reason this dialogue did not become an argument is because the landlord recognized that he was hearing the tenant’s perspective, which were her opinions about the situation, and very real for her. The landlord felt no need to challenge or argue with the tenant’s opinions since they were secondary to the objective, which was seeing if it was possible to keep the schedule that was set up AND have the tenant be able to attend a meeting that was obviously important to her.
When you can listen to others and hear that what they are saying is very real from their perspective, which is the only perspective they have at that moment, and stay clear that your perspective is the same, it is much easier to open to hearing what is being said without the need to argue or challenge. Once you are able to do this your own perspective shifts a bit. It gets broader. It now encompasses another person’s perspective without agreement or disagreement. At that point you can acknowledge what’s important to them, share what’s important to you, and enter into a very new world of communication. This new world of communication will be calmer, clearer, and more effective at creating what you want and need while respecting their desire to create what they want or need.
“Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.” – Emma Thompson
“Bad human communication leaves us less room to grow.” – Rowan D. Williams
“… communication is two-sided – vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it… demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated”. – Roger Sessions
Sound unrealistic? It is, if you don’t retrain your approach to communication. Look into books on effective communication, speak with someone whom you respect for his/her communication skills, hire a coach and set listening and being open to perspectives instead of opining as your objective….and experience how much more effective, happy, and peaceful you will be!
by Lisa Brick | Feb 8, 2012 | Blog, Choice, Navigating Life, Relationships
While it’s been generally believed that people in unfamiliar terrain often end up walking in circles, researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics in Tübingen, Germany proved this to be accurate, yet only under a specific circumstance. Findings presented in a study published in 2009 showed that when the study’s participants were tracked by GPS in two very different yet equally unfamiliar environments, they repeatedly walked in circles when they could not see a reference point. In this study, the reference point was the sun. Conversely, when there was a reference point, “when the sun was visible, participants sometimes veered from a straight course but did not walk in circles. They made progress in a specific direction.”[1]
What if this is true regarding how we live as well as how we navigate physically?
I love the concept of consciously “designing a future to live into”. This future of our design becomes the sun by which we navigate. It is out there, shining brightly, drawing us towards it. It is through this envisioned future that we can tell if we are happening off course. With our reference point we have the capacity to reorient ourselves and keep moving in the direction of our desire.
Without this future, what are we navigating by? If we have no reference point out there, are we expending great effort yet living in circles? Could this be why, at times, we feel we aren’t getting anywhere? Perhaps living without a designed future becomes living in circles or worse, living towards what was least enjoyable about our past?
When our reference point is how we don’t want to feel, what we don’t want to experience, we are navigating by our past, our pain, and our fears. And if we are navigating by what it is we desire to get away from, won’t that result in circles as well? We’ll be navigating by where we already are.
The drug is approved by the FDA so it is highly effective and safe in treating ED. purchase cheap viagra The sufferers who bear the history health record of a head injury when an external mechanical force cialis cheapest causes brain dysfunction. A charge off is comparable to trying to stop those tadalafil in canada pop-ups from opening while doing a live presentation. Lots of order cialis online https://www.unica-web.com/archive/2018/unica2018-entries.html people are unaware of this treatment. I’ve done that mistakenly with my automobile’s GPS, setting my destination to where I am rather than where I wanted to go. It kept directing me back to where I had been. Circles are exactly what happened until I realized the glitch!
In November I coached a young woman who was sure what she didn’t want in a partner. She’d go out in the world and see all these living examples of what she didn’t want, in droves! She found this over and over, reinforcing more of what she didn’t want. She was living in a circle. Her reference point? Her past experiences.
I asked her what qualities she did want in a partner. It was a new inquiry for her. We engaged in an exercise of identifying the qualities that she desired. Within a few months she was involved with a partner with the qualities she desired. She had set her sun in her sky, and she began to move towards it.
We can too, about anything in our lives. When we put that reference point up there and head out, we are heading in a progressive direction of both our design and our choice. Happy navigating.
[1] http://www.cell.com/current-biology/retrieve/pii/S0960982209014791, Current Biology, Volume 19, Issue 18, 1538-1542, 20 August 2009
I found my focus on a deeper level, what really moved and inspired me, which made choosing possible. Working with Lisa has given me the clarity and focus to move forward in my life and understand my role in the creation of my reality. ”
