Ready for a deeply rewarding life?   973-610-7031 lisabrick@powerandpurposecoaching.com
Shopping for Thoughts

Shopping for Thoughts

When we recognize we don’t have what we need to “get the job done” whether it is clothing so we can show up a certain way or tools to complete a project we’ve launched, we have a few choices. They are to give up on our objectives, make due with what we have, or go out and shop for whatever we need to accomplish our goals. We have the same options regarding our thoughts. If our negative thinking is leading us to give up on our objectives, feel incapable or insecure, or continually uncomfortable “making due” we can begin to “shop” for new and more effective thoughts that allow us to accomplish the personal goals that mean so much to us. (more…)

We are Not our Thoughts

We are Not our Thoughts

While thoughts certainly arise in our minds there is a separation from thinking them and listening to them as if they are truth, which they are not, and being able to see how to use them to pull back from suffering and towards power and possibility. This practice can help us to stay grounded in what is real, face our pain, avoid unnecessary suffering from the negative thoughts that inevitably arise, and grow from unwanted and unwelcome change. (more…)

Car Follows Focus

I recently finished reading Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein, an amusing and heart warming book.  The art of automobile racing was one of the themes within its pages,  and the racing adage, “Car  Follows Focus”. It says that while racing, the driver’s hands follow  her eyes, the wheel follows  her hands, and the car follows  the wheel or,  extrapolating to the broader experience of life, the destination in which you are heading is determined by where you are placing your focus. In the book, a driver avoids a multi-car pile up by focusing on the narrow strip of grass adjoining the track and beyond, not on the unfolding disaster in front of him.

I’ve been reflecting on the truth of this adage in my experience.  It is clear to me that when I shift my focus from what I am displeased with to what I desire,  pathways open up.  I begin to experience the  freedom to move towards that which I desire rather than being stuck in place with that which doesn’t please me or seeing myself heading towards an experience I would rather avoid.

After I was diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease I focused on the available information which explained the possible and projected  impact of the disease.  While my focus was there I was a stressed-out mess.  When, after months of suffering,  I asked myself what it was that I wanted for my life, I realized that I wanted a life of health and wellness regardless of the diagnosis.  After that realization I headed in that direction and rarely looked back.  Even while planning for open heart surgery and transplantation I kept my focus on that patch of green on the side of the track where wellness was to be found!

It is an investment of awareness and energy to ask ourselves “What is it I really want to experience?”  The return on that investment is a life of unusual and rewarding satisfaction, in all circumstances.

Best herbal remedy acts internally and addresses the underlying structural issue that is causing a patient’s pain and dysfunction and severe headache as a result of deeprootsmag.org buy levitra wholesale it, that this type of surgery may be appropriate. The market is flooded with ordering levitra numerous medications which ensure a healthy erection for pleasurable intercourse. Firstly because it can be easily remedied by making sure you drink the cost of viagra enough water. Drinking your sex life away Too much alcohol can have an adverse effect on your viagra without prescriptions canada health. Our lives have strong similarities to the racing experience for the spirit.  We qualify at conception.  Our vehicle is our mind/body.  We pass the starting line at birth.  The track is the seasons through which we go round and round.  Our finish line? Death, at least with this unique mind/body. Speed is optional and driver’s choice.

On the track, no matter how familiar we may think we are with it, we encounter unanticipated and unexpected conditions.  We take pit stops and utilize teams that assist us with repairs and motivation! To enjoy the adventure of the race, to learn the full capability of our vehicles, to ride all out, and to take our place among the greats who came before us and who will come after us when we cross that finish line – what can be more exhilarating?   This race is about the quality of the ride.

Focus on what inspires and moves you and you will be inspired and moved in that direction!  Simple yet profound.

This post was first published at MakingMindMatter.wordpress.com in 2011.

 

Refraining from Action, Temporarily

Refraining from Action, Temporarily

    What happens when we see or hear something that is unacceptable to our minds yet is happening or has happened in our lives? There is the spouse who discovers that he has been deceived, the parents who learn their daughter has been killed, the adult child whose parent is having a limb amputated, or the individual being diagnosed with cancer. How do we accept what is when it shatters what was or destroys what we thought would be, catapulting us into unknown territory we do not feel capable of navigating? It is neither comfortable nor easy to feel the pain, the fear, the self doubt, the rage. Yet there it is, overwhelming our circuits, preventing movement, disrupting EVERYTHING.

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    This is when surrendering preferences is the route forward. This is when the fierce acceptance of that which rips what we have known to shreds allows the fabric of our lives to weave itself anew, stronger yet more flexible and durable than before. This allowing, whether through the solitude of meditation, walking in nature, retreating to our beds, journaling, talking with a non-judgmental and accepting coach, friend, or family member, or a combination of any and all of the above can save us.
    “Save us from what?” you may ask, since the injury has already occurred. These practices save us from taking action when we are dizzy, stunned, rage full, and blind to all but our pain. These practices are firewalls protecting us by preventing our pain from leading us to take actions that cause even more suffering than necessary. When we allow reality IN and the feelings that arise within us OUT, WITHOUT TAKING ACTION until they are dissipated, we are able to assess and choose our actions thoughtfully with love and awareness, moving forward powerfully, effectively, and creatively as we become ready. Without embracing this process we go off half cocked, shooting blindly in our own darkness, causing collateral damage. There’s enough of this happening in our world already, agreed?

    By refraining from taking action in our darkness we allow ourselves to choose illuminated action, action that strengthens what we love and in doing so, weakens that which wreaks additional suffering.


Full Circle Gratitude

Full Circle Gratitude

Thanksgiving has come and gone yet the opportunity for giving thanks for our blessings remains.  Giving thanks for our blessings, an easy enough concept,  yes?  We are understandably thankful for good health, prosperity, and happiness for ourselves and those we care about, when life shows up as we plan, and when misfortune passes us by, yet this is half of what the experience that life in its fullness exposes us to.

We and those we love also get sick, die, loose jobs , see businesses falter and sometimes fail, and experience disappointment, fear, and betrayal.  What about this half of life?  How is it possible to experience gratitude for the shadow aspect of being alive, and if we did, how would that change our  experience of this other half of life?  The following is an old Taoist folktale, providing one route to seeing the shadow in the light and the light in the shadow, rounding out the possibility for gratitude.

 “A man who lived on the northern frontier of China had a unique way of  interpreting events. One day, for no apparent reason, his son’s mare ran away. Everyone tried to console him, but the father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” The neighbors thought him crazy.  Some months later the mare returned, bringing with it a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, yet his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Again, the neighbors thought him odd.  The father and son’s  household was richer by a fine horse, which the son loved to ride. One day the son fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but the father asked once again, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” By now the neighbors simply shrugged, unable to figure out what was with this old man.

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. Because the son was lame he was not able to join the fighting and stayed at home working the fields.  The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. The father and son survived, taking care of each other and eventually helping to build the village up again.  The old man’s equanimity in meeting circumstances proved to be an odd and crazy wisdom.

Truly, what we deem a blessing can lead to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end.  It is impossible to truly know which is which.  The mystery of life is unfathomable. “

This is not to say that the challenges and difficulties we experience need be celebrated.  It is to say that unanticipated and unwanted change, however dark and painful, contains the possibility of light and growth and when we are able to keep this in mind, we begin to introduce light and open ourselves to embracing growth in all the places we find ourselves.

Here are some personal examples of  gratitude that flow out of such an approach:

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Thank you for disease for it taught me that this life is precious and to appreciate being here now.
Thank you for those who express anger in my direction for they teach me how to stay in my heart, to communicate more effectively, to see others’  perspectives,  and to remain true to my values in the face of dissatisfaction.
Thanks for my sins for they teach me how off the mark I am and lead me back home.
Thank you for my failures for they teach  me to find new roads to travel upon my path to accomplishment.
Thank you for decay for it allows life to recycle its raw materials.
Thank you for my cesarean section for it allowed  me to live and continue to be here for my child.
Thank you for the storm so I could experience the immense kindness of others and, when the time came, to give it back.
Thank you for the ability to feel pain, express myself, and heal.
Thank you for the rain and the cold for they allow me to relish the dryness and warmth.
In this light, what might you add to your list to experience full circle gratitude?

Weathering the Storms

Weathering the Storms

Sandy’s gone yet the chaos left in its wake continues to reverberate in our lives. We have all lost something. At worst, lives have been lost. At best, we’ve lost a sense of security. In between, we’ve lost homes, income, cars, trees, sleep, ease of transportation, comfort, food, and chunks of our sanity. How do we find peace and a semblance of order knowing how vulnerable our lives are to powers beyond our control?

I offer the following admonition as a vehicle for peace and a semblance of order during this and any time of upheaval;

“Talk to yourself in two languages – what do I fear and what do I love – in order to balance ….” —Peter Shepherd

Some facts, whether we like them or not:

1. What we fear has happened.
2. It will happen again, what with climate change and unusually consistent extreme weather.
3. Weather events are beyond our control.
4. Severe weather events bring up understandable fear and have the capability of causing real and lasting damage.

When we become mindful of our fears we can begin to assess what it is we love that may be at risk. When we focus on what we love we can begin to design actions capable of protecting what we love given the information available. For instance, most of us love a heated home in cold weather. If our heat source depends on electric, what back up systems can we institute if we know our electric can be knocked out? Pursuing options may include back up generators, ensuring there is wood accessible for a fireplace/wood stove, installing a gas fireplace, identifying family or friends nearby that would host you should they have backups and you don’t or can’t for whatever reason, etc.

Although weather events are outside of our control, our readiness and ability to respond efficiently and effectively is very much within our control. What we love is a powerful motivator to shift our focus from what we can’t to what we can affect. Doing this, we regain our power to direct out lives, even when our lives are impacted by forces beyond our control.

When it comes to nature disrupting our lives there are steps we can take in advance to protect what we love and ameliorate the impact of what we can’t control. What follows are some suggestions to do just that while maximizing our time, money, and sanity:

1. Purchase a supply of dried and canned foods, candles, matches, flashlights, batteries and water.
2. Have a solar, crank, and battery powered emergency radio in your dwelling.
3. Follow the directions given by the police and other health agencies, evacuating when and where directed.
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5. Consider purchasing a case of snap packs from a local outdoors store to keep hands and feet warm. These can be put anywhere where body warmth is desired.
6. Purchase ice or fill and freeze plastic containers of water to maintain cold in your refrigerator/freezer for a few extra days.
7. If you evacuate to a hotel, bring easy to prepare and non-perishable foods and a cooler. You will be able to make sandwiches, serve cereal, snack, and eat fresh fruits and veggies (carrots, celery, peppers, tomatoes, etc.) for a time regardless of the external conditions. It will also prevent you from having to use your gasoline to search for food.
8. Locate and have on hand crayons, pens, pencils, paper, art supplies books for reading and storytelling, board games, toys and other entertainment for all ages that doesn’t require electricity.
9.  Establish a communication plan with friends and family with whom you want to stay in touch. Have a car charger and back up storage battery to keep your mobile phones operable. Decide in advance what communication venues: phone, text, email, are realistic and possible.
10.  If you evacuate to a hotel, find out about their plan for hotel guests should the power go out. You may be safer at the hotel yet still without power if they have no backup or it fails.
11.  Charge all electronic devices prior to the onset of the weather event.
12.  Neaten up the house before the storm. Know where your supplies are. It’s not as easy to see or find necessary items when the lights go out.
13.  Stock up on pet supplies.
14. Sign up for text alerts from your state emergency management center and local utility companies if they offer such programs.
15. Have a chunk of cash on hand in case the ATM’s and banks go down temporarily or merchant credit card terminals are inoperable.
16.  If you must leave your house, leave a light that can be seen from outside on so friends and neighbors can check if your power is on from outside your house.
17.  If you feel stuck inside or restless you can get a great workout and release stress by going up and down any stairs in the building. Exercise will help you think clearer and sleep more soundly.
18. Photograph any damage to your home, car or other property for insurance purposes.
19. Fill your car’s gas tank and a couple of large (proper, approved) gasoline containers in advance of the storm. Gas may be temporarily unavailable afterwards.
20.  If you or a family member takes life preserving medications have at least a months supply on hand at all times. This need not be a man made crisis on top of a natural one!!!

Being prepared provides an immense sense of confidence and security and is totally achievable. Keep your focus on what you love.